It is a bit late for pleasantries, so don’t mind if I cut to the chase: 
I’m not saying that you’ve waited too long and missed your shot – you NEVER had a chance.  But feel some consolation in the fact that I’m letting you walk away from here mostly intact – the parts I’m taking with me, you can’t see; you sure didn’t use them much anyway, and you might not’ve even known they were there in the first place.
Don’t be saddened by this, though – I promise that they’re coming with me to a better place.
I’ll keep them safe.