got to work at noon, felt very anxious and confused, I wanted to go to sleep but at the same time I felt stuck, because I was already at work. I keep wanting to quit everyday, I’m waiting for them to give me a reason. Then they tell me they’d give a 50 cent raise today if I work a few more hours, because I’m a good driver. I was honestly considering it, but then i started thinking about how depressing it is. And how depressed it makes me feel working there. Eventhough the money is good, its not worth the mental dilemmas. But at the same time I don’t know what else to do… work at Trader Joe’s? Sometimes I want to just move to Brooklyn, where many of my friends are. At least I could be meeting people, and meeting some girls too. I’m not saying I’m ready for a relationship, I mean I haven’t even finished this book I’m reading yet… But it does depress me that even if I wanted to, most of the girls around here are lame and/or already in relationships. So I worked seven hours today, I rushed to get to the skate shop before it closed. I really wanted a new deck and wheels, as I am without currently, I just have a set of trucks and bearings… seriously. But he must have just closed, I was pretty sad at that point. It was going to be the one thing today to kind of really cheer me up. When I got home, I told myself: don’t be angry, don’t spread that energy, its no one’s fault. And I did a pretty good job of restraining it. I went upstairs and cried a little bit, then I read some Fromm and decided to eat. I ate some salad, green and red peppers chopped up, some avocado, feta cheese, and caesar dressing. I felt pretty good after eating this, so I decided since my father wasn’t home to play some drums and record it for this thing I’m working on (this was the highlight of my night). Then my brother came by and he was talking to my mother, same old conversation with new anecdotes. I put in my usual two sense a bit more careless as i was too happy about the recording. I ate a bunch of mixed things, none of which were healthy, this made me feel bad again. Yin and yang!  474 words woo!